In memory of Silky Predmore-Doris
someone we've lost to ALS
Florida
I post these images of Silky because it helps me remember her as she was for most of her life: beautiful, healthy, adventurous, smart, loving, and a joy to be with.
I post these images of Silky because it helps me remember her as she was for most of her life: beautiful, healthy, adventurous, smart, loving, and a joy to be with. The excitement and comfort of our friendship never diminished in 45 years; quite the contrary.
ALS is an insidious disease. It steals your body, even as it tries to take your soul. Even as your bodily systems shut down one by one, almost imperceptibly, your mind remains aware of every setback, every new loss of function, and remains trapped within the deteriorating shell which houses it.
There are no words to describe this slow downward spiral into the abyss. I can sum it up best in the words of one of the admitting nurses when we came in to the ER in August, a few weeks ago, when Silky was nearing end stage. She looked at Silky, then turned to me and said,
“Are you her son?”
Silky was admitted to Mayo in January 2019 with aspiration pneumonia and a fungal infection in her lungs, aspergillosis — due to ALS, her swallow muscles had been compromised and food went into her lungs when she swallowed. The ALS diagnosis was given in April 2019, after which followed a trach, a feeding tube, and a ventilator called Trilogy.
She passed away on September 11, 2021, less than 2 years after diagnosis. I was her primary caregiver, and it was gut-wrenching to watch this beautiful woman who was my partner in life of 45 years slip away just a little bit every day, until her entire body shut down, and she chose to let nature take its course. All through it, she never once complained, and my life is now shattered and broken.
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i am lost on planet earth
so far from the place of my birth
so many miles and
so many smiles
have brought me here
memories crisscross my brain
people lost to me too soon, so dear
so many losses tear at the soul
the wall can only take but so much
but now a squall approaches
monsoon outside the window
sky is growling close nearby
sky is crying for those who’ve passed by
as then a soothing ocean breeze blows past
the full moon reveals herself at last
and memories come flooding in
and paralyze me in my steps
my life is torn, there can be no return
my head explodes in frustration
my heart explodes for a love now lost
my beautiful lady, how can this be?
i will love you forever
i will love you for always
my lady you’ll be
